The Platonic Friends Kiss of Death

Every time I meet a guy I find myself attracted to, he is never interested in me. It is confusing and strange in that we'll usually go out, they will pick up the dinner tab, drive, all the ingredients to a "date" then by the end of the "date" I get the old Platonic Friends Kiss of Death (hereinafter referred to as the PFKOD) but without an actual kiss. Somewhere in the course of our being together they decide they are not interested and give me the line that they don't want to date right now because of Fill In The Blank. They just want to be friends. Then the next thing I know they are hitting on my friends and/or dating someone else. Oh, so it wasn't that they aren't interested in dating because of some tragic circumstance in their life, they just aren't interested in dating me.

The line about just wanting to be friends is also a crock. My friends contact me out of the blue to see how I'm doing, they invite me to go places and see things with them, they come over, they invite me over, they lend me money, I lend them money, provide moral support in times of tragedy, and you know, act like friends. These guys, if I don't contact them somehow, I will never, ever hear from them again after the PFKOD. So why do they even bother to offer friendship? These guys aren't friends. They certainly don't act like it. I know why they lie like that, because they don't want to hurt our feelings, but let me tell you something, gentle readers, it hurts more to be strung along. So, my new rule (actually it was put into effect last year but failed recently), is that I require reciprocity, especially from men. If I find myself always doing the work, i.e. contacting them and they never contact me first, they are off my mailing list.

It's that simple. It's totally apparent that they have no interest in me in any way. It is baffling though. Especially in this age of the Information Superhighway, I can't even find the on-ramp. I have experienced the weirdest behavior and I think it is condoned because of the anonymous nature of the Internet. I have had situations where a guy has responded to my online profile (back when I was even trying), we e-mail back and forth all day long as if we're having a conversation (I worked in front of a computer all day, and I have a smart phone so I am always on e-mail) and close the conversation by saying talk to you tomorrow. Then I never, ever hear from them again. Ever. WTF is that? Is the rule that guys are mostly Flaksters? I will give them a chance the next day and lop an e-mail saying hello. Then, if I don't hear back, and I almost never do, off the list they go and into the idumpster.

If they were called away to go fight evil in Afghanistan, or some other lamo excuse, the very least they could do would be to let me know. But they don't. They just evaporate. Great disappearing act, Mr Magician! We know what that means, loud and clear. So, what I am trying to say and affirm is that I will not waste my precious time on anyone who doesn't care about me.

You also know when you're in Just Friends city when the guy refers to you as "Buddy" or "Kiddo". Happy Birthday, Buddy! Hey there, Kiddo! Yeeaaach! Or if they "dude" you. That means they look at you as if you are another man.

I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?

Your Friendo Platonico,The ScubaJedi

Keet Seel 2011 Trip Report

This year's trip into Keet Seel canyon was the most memorable yet. I have a better description of the general area and more details of the trail on another blog found here.

We left Friday with 8 of us on the trip. We did all the usual, Kate’s Café at Tuba City, camped at the Visitor’s Center, then hiked in. The difference in this year’s journey was that I was tipped off on where a reliable fresh water spring was by three Navajo boys we ran into on last year’s trip. It was located fairly close to the campground near the ruin, but I have been sworn to secrecy as to the actual location. So that meant that we only had to carry in whatever we needed to drink for the hike to the campground! In other years we had to pack in all our water and that made for a very laborous hike in. Without all that extra weight we arrived at the campground about two full hours sooner than usual. We could go at a more comfortable yet faster pace without the super heavy packs.

When we got to the campground, we got the skookums camp spots near the bigger picnic table. There was another group of four from Flagstaff who got there after us.

So, my game plan was to go to the spring and fill up with that we needed for the evening, go tour the ruins, come back for dinner and laughs. Then in the morning, make another run to the spring for water for the trip out. Good plan, right?

We took our empty containers and headed to the spring. We got there and the glorious water was gushing out so pure and inviting. It was cold, clean, and fresh. We filled up, I rinsed my hair out as did Ann Marie. We headed back and I got the bright idea to take the upper trail back. So we got to where we would descend back down to the river then back up the trail to the campground and we saw Ranger Steve heading away from us toward the ranger shack. We waited thinking we were hiding in the trees, we didn’t really want him to see us because technically we weren’t supposed to know where the spring was. When we thought he was far enough away we started down the hill. Then he turned around and was heading toward us in a very deliberate manner. When he got to us he was very serious and asked us if we had been to the spring. Busted!!! What could I say? We were all there without packs and just full water containers standing guilty as charged without having to say anything. I said yessir, we had been and he proceeded to hand us our butts. He told us he could kick us out and make us walk all the way back, that the spring was owned by a Navajo family who made it clear that no one was to go back there and use the spring except the rangers (I think the boys who gave me permission were part of that family). Ranger Steve told us we were putting the whole place in jeopardy by digressing from the trail we had permits for and going back there and getting water. I tried to explain that the boys told us we could use the spring but Ranger Steve would have none of that. We apologized and said that the location of the spring would remain a secret.

He asked if we were going to tour the ruins, that the other group was already up there and he could take two more if they wanted to come now. Steve (one of my group, not the Ranger) and Robert said they would go. The rest of us walked in shame back to camp. We tried to figure out how he knew what we were up to and still haven’t figured it out. I said there must be a webcam back there or something. There was some concern as a couple of the guys didn’t get enough water for the next day as they thought we would be making another spring run in the morning. Eric said we should make a midnight run like a bunch of Ninjas.

But, as fate would have it, I had discovered yet another spring coming out of the rocks right on the trail a little further down about a mile. It was a smaller spring and we would have to use a filter to siphon the water up as you couldn’t put a bottle or platypus in to collect the water, the hole is too small. I actually scouted four additional springs along the way where fresh water could be filtered and collected. The spring by the campground is the only secret one as it is the easiest to get the water out of and you don’t need to use a filter. It is now known as “Forbidden Spring”. The real reason they don’t want its location known is because people have gone back there and trashed it in the past, leaving shampoo bottles and other debris scattered around. The rest of the springs feeding the nasty creek along the way are fair game. So I am still never going to carry a heavy pack in there again. Water is available. Most people hiking out there would never notice the feeder springs, but I made it a point to memorize where they are.

Anyway, after about 45 minutes, the others headed toward the ruin to wait for the first group to finish and then they would get their tour. I opted out as I hate the 70 foot ladder of extreme peril and I have been up there enough. I stayed behind and explored the campground area outside the fence and around the other gullies etc. I wasn’t as tired as usual because I didn’t have to schlep a heavy pack.

Robert and Navy Steve came back and we sat and chewed the fat for a while. They said that Ranger Steve was ultimately cool about our water pilferage. It really is because they want to keep the area natural and people do tend to trash it, sadly enough.

After a while, Diane came back looking a bit excited. She said when they were on their tour, Ranger Steve started getting some radio transmissions about a couple of lost hikers! She said Ranger Steve had to cut the tour short because he had to go look for the hikers. They were part of another Meet Up group and had not come back with the rest of the group. It was an older couple and their descriptions were given over the radio. So the gang were walking back in the stream and they saw an older woman wandering toward them, looking a little confused. They stopped to talk to her and she asked where Keet Seel was. They said right here. She said how did I get back here? I was trying to get back to my car. Turned out she was one of the missing hikers. So Ann Marie, Eric, Michael, and Darrell headed back to tell Ranger Steve they found one of the hikers, and Diane stayed with the woman. When Ranger Steve got to her, Diane and Ann Marie came back to camp, Darrell, Eric, and Michael said they would help out looking for her companion who was, according to her, in pretty bad shape. Neither of them had any water, they were dehydrated and had no food. It was getting dark about then so Ranger Steve handed out flashlights and the guys fanned out down the canyon searching for the lost man. Darrell carried the woman’s pack for her even though he has a bad back and had been schlepping a pack all day. Eric found the man who was passed out atop the second waterfall. There’s the waterfall near the campground, then another one a little further down then the Big Waterfall which is the last place where you can get a vehicle. There was a truck waiting with EMT’s by the Big Waterfall, which is around 2 miles from the ruins.

Eric, who is Chinese and has a very thick accent gets in the man’s face and asks “Do you need water? Do you need medicine? Do you need food?” He said the man’s eyes were just glazed over and he was shaking badly. He was in very bad shape and the guys were pretty confident that if they hadn’t found him when they did he would have died being out there all night. He had no way of getting warm, no water, no food, and was exhausted.

The other guys got there with the woman and Michael and Darrell carried packs, while Ranger Steve and Eric held on to the man and helped him along until they got to where the truck was waiting. Of course we were all back at the camp wondering what was transpiring and then the guys came back around 10:30pm. Ranger Steve comes up to me and gives me a hug and said we were all exonerated for the water incident with the help the guys lended on finding the missing hiker. Turned out the couple had hiked all the way to the base of the cliff, but instead of heading up, they kept walking up Long Canyon, which is one of three canyons all connecting at the base of the cliff. They walked a fairly long way up the wrong canyon until they came to a herd of sheep, thought they were lost and turned around to go back. Again, instead of finding the trail up the cliff (marked with a huge white post) they headed back down Keet Seel canyon! They got as far as the second waterfall and the man could no longer go. He stopped there and she kept going and ended up back at the ruins. She was a bit confused and couldn’t figure out how they got so turned around. I don’t know how they endured all that hiking. I would have keeled over a lot sooner myself. The woman was actually in really good physical condition.

The next day we all packed up and headed out. Ann Marie, Darrell, and Robert all said they needed more water and I said that I would wait for them by the other spring I knew of and we would get some.

Then on the way back up the Cliff of Insanity, I of course, was way behind because I just can’t handle steep uphill climbs very well, I trip on one of the railroad ties in the first set of switchbacks and fall on my face banging my left shin really badly. It started swelling up like a softball and I was really shaken up. Falling like that with a full pack is no joke. Ann Marie and Darrell were up a few levels from me and I yelled to them that I had fallen. They said they’d wait and when I got there Ann Marie had a cold pack and a sticky ace bandage and she packed up my leg. It really helped.

So, that ended the most eventful Keet Seel trip yet! Even though I will not use Forbidden Spring again, I know where to get water on the trail, so still, no more heavy packs!

Next up - Adventures in Curaçao

The Scuba Jedi