The Scuba Jedi is tired of always having to do everything alone. Well, I do have a large circle of regulars that I hang out with and do things with, but I think you all get my meaning when I say being alone kinda sucks. So where do you go to meet a decent man? I'm asking you gentle readers, because I really don't know. I joined a singles activity club and have met some really great single women. It is actually a lot of fun and I have met some good friends and done some cool things like traveled to Bonaire and Peru with the group.
I've tried the speed dating thing (see The Dating Adventure ) and that was fun but unfruitful. Now I am trying the online dating thing. I have actually tried this on and off for several years, and as I am still single, it doesn't seem to be working either. Lately, however, I have been going on a lot of first dates. In the past I got nothing, not even an electronic wink, but maybe my pictures look better this time around. Also, something else I'm trying differently this time is I have dumbed down my description a lot. I don't mention that I am The Scuba Jedi, or that I am a Sierra Club Wilderness Guide, or that I have traveled to 11 different countries, play musical instruments by ear, speak French, make art, used to drive a motorcycle, can make my own clothes, make pottery, work for Microsoft, have a graduate degree in Forensic Psychology, am a voracious reader, and dress up for Renaissance Fair. Men don't give a crap about any of that, I have figured out. As a matter of fact, this all goes to work against me. All they think about is sex, and all they care about is if they think you're hot looking. So I have a couple of portrait pictures and a couple of paragraphs about how nice I am, would like to meet someone who can make me laugh (all guys think they're hilarious), and that I like to cook and wouldn't it be great to have someone to cook for...giggle giggle giggle. Excuse me, I have to go throw up right now, when I'm done I'll finish the blog.....
One might wonder why I even want a man if I think so little of them? Well, let me tell you. I have met and know some pretty terrific guys. They are mostly all married, and understandably so. So this gives me hope that there might be one out there for me. The dumbed down profile isn't a lie, it's just not disclosing all my information at once. I think this is what was killing me in the past. I put it all out there and it was overwhelming. So I just reeled it back in a smidgen and will dole out the rest of me in little pellets like from a Pez dispenser.
So I have had a lot of first dates. Here's the drill: They answer my online personal ad and we e-mail back and forth for a couple of days. Then they give me their phone number and I will usually text them so they have my phone number, because I won't call a man to start off with. Nor will I let them trick me into asking THEM out. I read "He's Just Not That Into You", I know the game. Then we'll either keep texting or he'll call me. We set up a time and place to meet and then we meet. We'll have a nice chat, a couple of drinks, or a coffee, and say so long. Then one of two things happens. I will either never hear from them again, or they will contact me a couple of days later about seeing each other again. And here's the thing, my amazing blog readers, it's always to GO OVER TO HIS HOUSE! Can you say "Booty Call"? Not only am I not interested in a booty call buddy, but that is just creepy and makes me uncomfortable. I am a fairly good judge of character and I know these guys are mostly harmless, but the one time I judge poorly I am going to regain consciousness and find myself in a hole in some guys basement hearing "It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again". No thanks, Buffalo Bill, I am not coming over after only meeting you in person one time. When they find out I'm not coming over, they dump me. One time a guy actually took me out three times before abandonment. He wanted a bed buddy for an upcoming weekend in Sedona. When I told him I was doing a camp out that weekend and couldn't go, he disappeared.
All in all it should really be discouraging. But it has actually toughened me up and I am using this as educational material. The trick is to have no expectation. Then when you're treated like this, you aren't surprised or hurt. I am very grateful that these guys show their true colors right in the beginning and I don't get dragged into a mess that will lead to hurt later. I am truly blessed.
And so, I will persevere.
I've tried the speed dating thing (see The Dating Adventure ) and that was fun but unfruitful. Now I am trying the online dating thing. I have actually tried this on and off for several years, and as I am still single, it doesn't seem to be working either. Lately, however, I have been going on a lot of first dates. In the past I got nothing, not even an electronic wink, but maybe my pictures look better this time around. Also, something else I'm trying differently this time is I have dumbed down my description a lot. I don't mention that I am The Scuba Jedi, or that I am a Sierra Club Wilderness Guide, or that I have traveled to 11 different countries, play musical instruments by ear, speak French, make art, used to drive a motorcycle, can make my own clothes, make pottery, work for Microsoft, have a graduate degree in Forensic Psychology, am a voracious reader, and dress up for Renaissance Fair. Men don't give a crap about any of that, I have figured out. As a matter of fact, this all goes to work against me. All they think about is sex, and all they care about is if they think you're hot looking. So I have a couple of portrait pictures and a couple of paragraphs about how nice I am, would like to meet someone who can make me laugh (all guys think they're hilarious), and that I like to cook and wouldn't it be great to have someone to cook for...giggle giggle giggle. Excuse me, I have to go throw up right now, when I'm done I'll finish the blog.....
One might wonder why I even want a man if I think so little of them? Well, let me tell you. I have met and know some pretty terrific guys. They are mostly all married, and understandably so. So this gives me hope that there might be one out there for me. The dumbed down profile isn't a lie, it's just not disclosing all my information at once. I think this is what was killing me in the past. I put it all out there and it was overwhelming. So I just reeled it back in a smidgen and will dole out the rest of me in little pellets like from a Pez dispenser.
So I have had a lot of first dates. Here's the drill: They answer my online personal ad and we e-mail back and forth for a couple of days. Then they give me their phone number and I will usually text them so they have my phone number, because I won't call a man to start off with. Nor will I let them trick me into asking THEM out. I read "He's Just Not That Into You", I know the game. Then we'll either keep texting or he'll call me. We set up a time and place to meet and then we meet. We'll have a nice chat, a couple of drinks, or a coffee, and say so long. Then one of two things happens. I will either never hear from them again, or they will contact me a couple of days later about seeing each other again. And here's the thing, my amazing blog readers, it's always to GO OVER TO HIS HOUSE! Can you say "Booty Call"? Not only am I not interested in a booty call buddy, but that is just creepy and makes me uncomfortable. I am a fairly good judge of character and I know these guys are mostly harmless, but the one time I judge poorly I am going to regain consciousness and find myself in a hole in some guys basement hearing "It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again". No thanks, Buffalo Bill, I am not coming over after only meeting you in person one time. When they find out I'm not coming over, they dump me. One time a guy actually took me out three times before abandonment. He wanted a bed buddy for an upcoming weekend in Sedona. When I told him I was doing a camp out that weekend and couldn't go, he disappeared.
All in all it should really be discouraging. But it has actually toughened me up and I am using this as educational material. The trick is to have no expectation. Then when you're treated like this, you aren't surprised or hurt. I am very grateful that these guys show their true colors right in the beginning and I don't get dragged into a mess that will lead to hurt later. I am truly blessed.
And so, I will persevere.
Until the next adventure, your Friendo Platonico,
The Scuba Jedi
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